What I Do For Fun

As you know, the BYU-Utah game is going to be played in a week and a half. At work, I sent out this e-mail:

All:

Last year was the first year of the BYU/Utah Haiku and
Limerick contest. Although I promised a prize, I never actually bought
one. This year I did. If the winner of this year’s contest is a Utah
fan, he or she will receive a 4 CD set of music entitled Happy Days ‘60s---the
last decade of Utah dominance in the rivalry. If the winner of this year’s
contest is a BYU fan, he or she will win a 3 CD set of music entitled Ultimate
‘80s---the decade in which all BYU fans are still living. Anyone who is
not a fan of either team or is a fan of both may choose between the CD
sets. All are welcome to come to my office to view the
prizes.

Now to the contest. . .

Anyone in
the firm may submit any number of poems in a haiku and limerick format which
will be judged on form, wit, and style. The entries must be submitted
before game time next Saturday.

To better approximate the current
state of college football, any entry from the east side of the office (I have
arbitrarily determined that the east side means anyone east of, but not
including, Eric Johnson’s and Bryan Bryner’s offices) will get preferential
treatment. Additionally, I will ask two other volunteers to be judges with
me. They will each rank the poems from 1 to 25. I will prepare a
spreadsheet that weighs each of the judges’ rankings depending upon my
subjective judgment of the validity of each of the rankings. Additionally,
I have determined that anyone who has practiced for more than fifteen years or
has an office immediately adjacent to such a person will be classified as a
Poetry Championship Series attorney who will get preferential treatment in the
prize determination as well.

I have not had the time to perfect my
spreadsheet but will do so before the prizes are given. Trust me. I
know poetry better than you do.

I have received more than 20 entries so far.

These are two of the poems I submitted:

There is a school to the North wearing red
Who screams about having no cred’.
A BCS bowl?
Nice and lofty end goal.
Try covering BYU receivers instead.

There once were three lawyers at work
Whose assertions made other folks smirk,
“Katy, Matthew, and Dan,
Try hard as you can,
We won’t take Ute tickets as perks.”

I love starting these things. It makes office morale high and we have lots of fun.